Short Take: Is Erica Spindler OK?
(*Note: I received an advance copy of this book for review.*)
Hello my beloved nerdlings, and welcome to the space in the calendar where New Year’s Resolutions go to die. It’s bitterly cold, the Christmas lights are all gone, and the only spot of color in the stores is the Valentine’s Day candy. In short, it’s the kind of blah that only chocolate (or a really good book) can fix.
And unfortunately, I’m all out of chocolate, and this week’s book is… well… not great.
Sienna Scott, college freshman, is walking home one snowy night when she literally trips and falls over a murder victim. Traumatized by the scene, and further distressed by her mother’s paranoid delusions, Sienna goes to London to live (hide?) with her grandmother for the next decade.
Upon her return, everything seems to be the same. Her mom is still deeply mentally ill, Madison Robie’s murder is still unsolved, her brother Bradley is still a successful real estate developer, and the kindly cop she befriended the night of the murder is still investigating it.
But beneath that veneer of same-old, everything is different. Her father has died, her brother’s marriage has failed, and there’s a hot house flipper living across the street who may have a few secrets of his own. And as more truth about that night trickles out, it looks like Sienna, not Madi may have been the intended victim.
Before I dive into why The Look-Alike didn’t work for me, I need to digress for just a moment, so please stay with me, ok duckies?
Did anyone else obsessively read VC Andrews books back in the day? The Flowers in the Attic series blew EVERYONE away, and then there was Heaven and Dawn and Ruby and…. Wait. For some reason, which I only found out much later when the internet became A Thing, all of these series were kind of the same. That reason being, of course, that Virginia Andrews had died many years before, and her name was being used by a ghostwriter who used that first amazing series as a template to essentially write the same series over and over again.
And that’s what leads me back to the question I asked at the beginning of this review – is Erica Spindler OK? Because it’s been a minute since I’ve read one of her books, but from what I remember, they are fun and twisty and unpredictable, and The Look-Alike is a slog through every thriller cliche out there.
I won’t spoil things, but anyone who’s read more than a few murder mysteries will have it solved by the halfway mark. The title is misleading, there’s no actual look-alike, just two girls wearing the same color coat. Every character except Sienna (more on her below) is a hollow collection of cliches, more worn-out than the seat of my nerd-nest.
And oh, my sweet nerdlings, Sienna is LITERALLY THE WORST. She’s whiny and self-pitying, and so so so gullible. She believes whatever anyone tells her, and spends entirely too much time worrying that she might have the same mental illness as her mother. For real, every single chapter has at least one (and often) several paragraphs devoted to the subject, and if that doesn’t sound too bad, I’d like to point out that there are seventy-one chapters’ worth of repeating “omg what if I’m sick like my mom I think I might be imagining things but I wonder if I’m in danger but if I think I’m in danger then I’m probably sick like my mom maybe I just need to cry some more I haven’t done that in like ten minutes but my mom cries maybe I’m just like her….”
Every single plot point was so predictable, and somehow dated, like an 80’s era soap opera. Even the language felt stilted, like a drunk angry man saying his girlfriend was “stepping out on” him. I’ve spent a bit of time around drunk angry men who’ve been cheated on, and believe me when I say, they word things quite differently. And of course everyone (except the bad guy) lives happily ever after. (spoiler alert?)
Which brings me back to, “Is Erica Spindler OK?” Because it feels like someone else is using her name to sell a paint-by-numbers thriller (one romance, two red herrings, etc.) that isn’t especially thrilling.
The Nerd’s Rating: TWO HAPPY NEURONS (and a big old bowl of chili, because the food was the real hero in this book.)