Hey Nerd, Read My Book! (aka, Submissions)

***January 2023 Update*** – I am not accepting submissions for reviews for the next few months, but hope to return to my regularly scheduled snarking shortly. Thanks for your patience!

All right, y’all.  Something wonderful and a little freaky has been happening, namely, that I’ve been getting more submissions than I can read and review in a timely manner.  Also, despite the fact that I read mostly garbage, I’m learning that I’m actually a pretty picky reader.  So I’ve reached the conclusion that I’m going to have to lay down a few rules.  I don’t like to tell other people what to do (nerds are notoriously non-confrontational, it’s in the by-laws), but if you want me to read and review your book, here’s what you need to do:

First, send me an email with a brief synopsis of your book, along with links to it on Amazon and/or Goodreads.  I need to know a bit of what your book is about before I agree to read and review it.  Vague terms like “genre-twisting nonstop thrill-ride” don’t mean anything to me, and probably won’t get me interested.  This site is fun for me, I want to keep it that way by reading books I want to read.  I’m sure your “innovative techno-horror” is great, but seriously, what is it ABOUT?

To help you out, I’m mostly into the horror & mystery/thriller genres, not so much with sci-fi and fantasy, bodice-ripping romance just makes me snort with derision, and I don’t think I’ve ever actually read a Western.  (Do people still write Westerns?)  Some family-drama-type stuff can be really good (Jodi Picoult, Diane Chamberlain) as well.

Anyway, If I want to read your book, I’ll contact you to get an .epub version.  (I use a nook, that’s the only format that works for me).  If you just send me your book without telling me anything about it, or including links, or even bothering to see if I’d like to read it, I’m most likely going to just delete your email.

Now, as far as my reviewing process…..

First and foremost, I give honest reviews.  If I don’t like I book, I will say so.  However, I will go to some effort to explain what I didn’t like, and not just say “This book sucked.  Don’t read it”.  Most of my reviews are in the 600-800 word range, so you can expect real feedback on your work.

If your book hasn’t been published yet, and you would like a review to be put up at the time of publication, please indicate that in your initial email.  I generally try to do about one review a week, but sometimes life intervenes, so I’m asking for 2-3 weeks lead time if there is a specific date you need the review.  Also, if I have several others stacked up, it could take a little longer to get to yours – don’t panic if you don’t see it on the site right away.

Another important note – I am not affiliated in any way with any publisher, editor, or agent.  I can not help you get your book published.  I will accept ARC’s, but only if the book is already in the process of being published, and I will only do reviews for books that people can actually buy.  I’m not in the business of publicizing or marketing.  That said, I also cross-post my reviews on Amazon and Goodreads (so far), so your review will be in three different places. If you give me your twitter name, I’ll also tweet to you when your review goes live, so all of your followers can see it as well.

Feel free to contact me with any questions, I look forward to hearing from you!

–The Nerdy Book Reviewer (freakylibrarian@gmail.com)

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